My Love, I'm in Love with You
by TryingforTrueGrit
Summary: Killian and Emma's relationship development through Killian's POV paralleled with lyrics from "The Words." It begins with the season three finale and spans the entirety of season four with some extended scenes. Written long before anything was known about season five. I know its been done before, but this is my take on it.


**A/N:** So I know parodies to Christina Perri's _The Words_ have been written, but this is something I wrote after the season four finale. I don't have a beta (still learning how to work fanficiton), so any grammar and formatting mistakes are entirely my own. To be honest, I struggle with past and present tense verb usage, so any helpful criticisms in that area, along with other critiques and reviews would be greatly appreciated, as I'm always open to learning how to improve.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own anything from _Once Upon a Time_ , all rights and reserves belong to the creators Kitsis and Horowitz. Title and musical lyrics of _The Words_ , including all rights and reserves belong to Christina Perri. Story Image found on Pinterest, not my own creation and my apologies for not being able to locate the creator to ask permission to borrow or give them credit.

 **Summary:** Killian and Emma's relationship development through Killian's POV paralleled with lyrics from _The Words_. It begins with the season three finale and spans the entirety of season four with some extended scenes, and dialogue borrowed from the show and some added from my own imagination. Written long before anything was known about season five. I know its been done before, but this is my take on it.

* * *

 _All of the lights land on you_

 _The rest of the world fades from view_

 _And all of the love I see_

 _Please, please, say you feel it too_

It wasn't just in his imagination. He knew his Swan felt the same as he, however reluctant she may be to admit it. And that was okay with him; he didn't want to push her. He wanted her to come around to him on her own time - because she wanted too, not because she was forced. He told her once that he would win her heart, and not by any trickery on his end, but because she would want him in return.

And he believed he was winning her heart. Everything they had battled together – Pan, the missing year, the bloody Wicked Witch, the Snow Queen, the villainous Queens of Darkness, and the Dark One working with the weasel Author to end everyone's happy endings – proved just how much he cared for her. How much he was willing to endure, just to be with her.

 _And all of the noise I hear inside_

 _Restless and loud, unspoken and wild_

 _And all that you need to say_

 _To make it all go away_

 _It's that you feel the same way too_

From deliberately choosing to return to that God forsaken Neverland, a place he aimed to escape from for years, just so he could help her rescue her boy. To being separated by a new curse, where he chose to trade the Jolly Roger in order to escape to the realm where Emma was living with false memories. To the Wicked Witch cursing his lips in the hopes that if he kissed Emma, her magic would be lost. Try as he did to stay away from Emma, to protect her family and her boy on his own terms, the bloody Witch bested them by drowning him. And Emma, ever the selfless Savior, saved him at the expense of her magic. Then being sucked into a time portal where they had to fight to save her parents happy ending – and Emma's existence in the world - only to succeed with a new threat of the Snow Queen on the horizon. Then these Queens of Darkness show up, and a plot of the Dark One is exposed to turn Emma dark. Along the way the Author, who supposedly controls everyone's happy endings, is revealed to be a cowardly villain in search of his own dastardly happy ending at the expense of everyone's true stories.

Through all these adventures, challenges, and ultimate peril that envelopes the town of Storybrooke, he finally manages to persuade his Swan to embrace the quiet moments in-between the frightening moments – with him.

It starts after their return from the time portal. As his Swan runs to embrace her family, to finally admit her home is with them in Storybrooke, he takes a seat outside of Granny's diner, reveling in the relief that they prevented his dear Swan from being erased from the world. As he reflects into his flask of rum, he sees her approaching in her signature red leather jacket.

She thanks him for coming to find her in New York, telling him he didn't have too. Of course he had to find her. There was nothing for him back in the Enchanted Forest because she was absent from that world. So he explains how and why he went back to find her – he's an excellent captain more than capable of outrunning a curse.

"You traded your ship for me?" she asks, surprise written all over her face as if she couldn't believe she could be worth so much to anyone; worth so much to him.

"Aye," he simply answers in return, his gaze never leaving her green eyes.

The realization that he traded his ship for her, the one thing he formerly loved most dearly in this world, was the first step in Emma letting her walls down. She embraces him with a heartfelt kiss and he eagerly, yet softly, returns the affection. In-between kisses and breaths, he can't help but notice that they both are smiling - reveling in the truth and hope that has been shared.

 _And I know_

 _The scariest part is letting go_

 _'Cause love is a ghost you can't control_

 _I promise you the truth can't hurt us now_

 _So let the words slip out of your mouth_

But then she pulls away from him as a new threat to the town emerges. The threat is first believed to be Elsa, the white haired beauty with a talent for freezing things, who accidently entraps Emma and her in an ice cave at the town line. As Emma, unprepared for the cold, slowly begins to slip into hypothermia - as they call it in this realm - Killian fights with everything he has to rescue her.

Once Elsa manages to help them escape from the frozen death cave, Emma comes stumbling out and Killian is quick to wrap her in his arms. His Swan feels like ice to the touch. As she attempts to stand she slips, but Killian is there to scoop her up in his arms and carry her over to Dave's truck, ready to get her home. Back at the loft, he doesn't leave her side. One arm draped around Emma's shoulders, she eagerly leans into his body for warmth and comfort. He notices the only time she leans away from him, and out of his arms, is to hug her boy Henry.

Then the real threat to the town is exposed, and it's not the white haired Elsa but the Snow Queen, hell bent to see her evil plan come to fruition. He aims to be by Emma's side the entire time but she pushes him away, angered that he wouldn't stay at the Sherriff's station where _he_ could be protected. Why she wanted him protected while risking her own neck he couldn't bloody well understand. So naturally, he goes off seeking danger in hopes of finding the Snow Queen before _Emma_ could be hurt. To his luck, he and Elsa find the Snow Queen, only to be uprooted, or rather frozen in place, by the Snow Queen's magic. It's only after Emma rescues him once again – how many times will he have to be rescued by this woman? – that he finally can't stand it.

After the celebration of the day's small victory at Granny's, he runs after her into the street. Does she not trust him? Of course she trusts him she exclaims.

"So why do you keep pulling away from me?" he asks angrily and bewilderedly.

After a brief second of hesitation on her part, the truth of the matter comes out. "Because everyone I've ever been with is dead! I can't lose you too."

This is no small admission to be taken lightly. He tells her not to worry about him, that he is good at surviving. Her eyes drop and a small smile spreads across her face - she is letting her walls down as she willingly embraces him in the kiss he has stolen. This kiss, unlike the one shared after their adventure in the time-warped Enchanted Forest, is anything but soft and tender. It's a kiss of desire, passion, and from him, a yearning for her to understand how much he wants to be with her.

The following day he is shooting darts at Granny's, his mind racing over the kiss he shared with Emma. As they slowly parted from one another Emma let out a soft sigh, shook her head, and walked back to her yellow vessel. As she opened the door, she looked back at him with a smile on her lips. He couldn't move, frozen in his tracks (this time without the assistance of the Snow Queen's magic). He pressed his fingers to his lips, reveling in the moment and trying to seer into his memory the feel of Emma's lips against his. As the yellow vessel moved farther down the street, he finally regained his composure. He knew what this kiss meant to him, but even as his Swan was an open book to him, he could have no doubt that her walls would be right back up the next time they were in each other's company.

So when Emma comes traipsing into the diner, her face a mix of determination and dare he say it, uncertainty, Killian's first thought is that he missed a scouting party to track down the Snow Queen. To his surprise, Emma tells him she'd been thinking about what he had said, about being a survivor. Killian smirks in response, "You don't have to worry about me love."

"Good, because I'm here to ask you out."

Upon hearing those words he misses the dartboard entirely. He turns, his face a mix of surprise and curiosity at her declaration. "Shouldn't I be the one asking you out?" he asks.

After a discussion over him being old fashioned and over 300 years old, and after taking pleasure in the small blush that has spread across her face, he happily accepts the offer on the condition that he is the one to plan the evening.

She smiles and as she slowly walks away, his mind begins racing once again. Could it be that his Swan was finally beginning to keep her walls down around him? Even more, his elation that his Swan might finally be beginning to admit to herself that she has feelings for him too, if not in so many words but in action instead, well he was willing to go at her own pace. He was slowly winning her heart and this first "date" was a welcomed opportunity to show her how much he cared for her, how much he was already in love with her.

 _And all of the steps that led me to you_

 _And all of the hell I had to walk through_

With each step up the stairs to her family's loft, Killian could feel his heart beating in anticipation. He had wanted this the moment he chose not to use the stolen magic bean and turned his ship around to the harbor of Storybrooke. He had both hands for the first time in over 300 years because of a deal – more like blackmail - he made with the Crocodile. Holding the long stemmed crimson rose behind him in his newly attached left hand, hidden behind his back, he knocked on the door with his right hand.

His Swan answers the door and a moment passes between them both. They are staring at the other, stunned in silence at the beauty they see in the other - her in a soft pink dress, him in this realms garb of black jeans and black leather jacket.

"You look - " Emma begins.

"I know," he finishes for her. Typical pirate charm and ego.

He offers her the rose with his left hand. She reaches for it but doesn't recognize the gesture. It is her mother, Snow, who brings the new appendage to Emma's attention. As he desperately wanted both hands for their date in the hopes she would want him to hold her, he never considered until this moment - where she accepts the rose oblivious of his hand - that she never minded his hook or lack of a left hand. The thought overwhelms him with joy – his Swan truly is bloody amazing.

"So what do I call you now, Captain Hand?" Emma asks teasingly.

He laughs lightly, "Killian will do."

The evening continued, albeit a run in with the ice cream thief sparked a moment of darkness to creep up in Killian. But Emma, after placing her hand over his, brought his thoughts back to the present as he shook off the spark of darkness that had flared within him. As they walked back to the loft, he draped his leather jacket over her shoulders to keep her warm. Hand in hand, they continued to walk in the cool evening. The feel of their entwined fingers, and the sight of Emma in his leather jacket, is a memory Killian would never allow himself to forget.

Once at her parent's doorstep, he apologizes for his behavior with the thief. She smiles in response and brings both his hands into hers, entwining their fingers together. Smiling at one another, she asks him if he wants to come inside for coffee with her parents, baby brother, and a human icemaker – they both laugh.

"Maybe next time," he voices. He notices the rise of Emma's brow and glint in her eyes.

"Next time? I don't remember asking." She says teasingly.

It's not an immediate "no" and Killian isn't one to back away from a challenge. "That's because it's my turn. Will you go out with me again?"

His gaze is deep, his blue irises locked with her green emeralds. He anxiously awaits her response but the anxiety ceases the moment she presses her lips to his. The kiss is soft with a hint of longing and not just on his end. As he wraps both his arms around her, bringing her closer, he feels that darkness begin to pull at him again. Unnerved, he gently ends the kiss sooner than he would have liked. He composes himself and returns Emma's smile as she turns for the door and whispers goodnight to him.

His thoughts are a mix of happiness and fear. He worries the Crocodile's threat about the darkness creeping back into him to be real. He races to find the damn imp and have him remove his newly acquired hand. This deal unfortunately sets off a series of events that jeopardize not only Killian's life, but also his newfound relationship with Emma, as he has to lie in order to protect her. Being the Crocodile's puppet is a new fresh hell for him. He's worked so hard to become a better man for his Swan, but this new arrangement has him committing acts only his former self would have done – trapping an innocent old man and the fairies into a magical hat - all for reasons the Crocodile refuses to explain.

That is until the one night the Crocodile chooses to unveil his plan - to entrap Emma in the box and forever remove her as a threat to his sinister ways. Emma, running from her family and from him, fearing her magic is a threat to them all, had come to the Crocodile in the hopes of ridding herself from her magic. In Killian's effort to save her, the Dark One stops him by tethering his body and hands to an iron fence. In one swift motion, the Crocodile rips Killian's heart out of his chest. Fortunately for Killian, as the blazing light in the house dies down, he knows Emma changed her mind and refused to rid herself of her magic. The Dark One, assuring Killian this setback is simply that, evaporates in a cloud of purple taking Killian's heart with him.

Once released, Killian runs into the mansion as fast as his feet can carry him. Upon seeing her, he embraces his Swan, hugging her fiercely and kissing her with a passion as if she had died and come back to life. He never wants to lose her and he will do anything to protect her. As he once told Dave back in the Enchanted forest under the disguise of Prince Charles, he would go to the end of the world - or time - for Emma.

 _But I wouldn't trade a day for the chance to say_

 _My love, I'm in love with you_

Though the Crocodile held his heart and controlled his actions, and though the Snow Queen's evil spell of Shattered Sight was upon them, Killian had to see Emma one more time. He found her where he knew she would be, at the Sherriff's station with her family.

"What are you doing here? You know what's about to happen," she asks him sternly with tears in her eyes.

"Aye, I just needed to see you one more time."

He attempts to memorize her in the moment, even as her green eyes are moist with tears and her lips are quivering as her resolve is breaking. She mumbles something about being a terrible goodbye kiss person, and he can't help but think how much he loves her _._ But he doesn't say it. She pulls him in for a kiss and they embrace, arms wrapped around one another. He buries his face in her neck as he feels her warm tears slide down the side of his face. They don't want to let go of one another but the inevitable is about to occur. Foreheads touching, he whispers goodbye and walks away, full of regret and anger. He knows this Shattered Sight spell will not work on him as his heart resides outside of his body, in the hands of the Dark One, unbeknownst to his Swan.

What Killian doesn't see is Emma's reaction once he leaves. She touches her fingers to her lips, a look of confusion befalling her face before she musters the strength to face the inevitable curse.

Even after the Snow Queen is defeated, the Dark One was still up to his tricks. The Crocodile readied the magical hat at the clock tower, determined to bequeath himself of the dagger's power, with Killian forced to bear witness. Knowing these would be his last moments, Killian could think only of Emma. He was about to fail her and never see her smiling face again. He thought of how much he loved Emma, and in the deepest depths of his heart, he believed Emma loved him too, or at least was beginning too. And if that were true, then his death at the hands of the cowardly Crocodile would only confirm her belief that she is destined to lose everyone she is closest too.

The doors to the clock tower burst open, revealing his Swan and her mother. Before Emma could wield her magic, the Dark One froze them both and proceeded to squeeze Killian's heart until it was crushed. Killian felt agonizing pain shoot up and down his body as the pressure of the Crocodile's grip on his heart continued. The only distraction from the pain was the sound of the Crocodile's confusion about why Killian's heart hadn't turned to dust.

In a moment of unbelief, Killian glanced up to see Belle holding the Dark One's dagger. With an unmistakable look of contempt and distrust written across Belle's face, she commanded her husband to drop Killian's heart. The Dark One did as he was commanded and Killian caught his still intact and beating heart in his hand.

Seeing his heart, dark red with spots of black, gave him hope that this would not be his end. He could still fix things and make right what he had done wrong as the puppet of the Crocodile. As Belle disappeared with the Dark One, Emma and Snow were released from their frozen bonds. Killian stood, staring both at his heart and at Emma, a second chance literally in the palm of his hand.

Emma held his heart with both of her hands. She looked nervous, as her eyes flashed back and forth between Killian and his beating heart. He could tell she was stunned - holding a person's heart while said person stands living and breathing at the same time is not something that happens in this realm of hers – as she once explained to him. He gazed at her, his blue eyes light and encouraging. "Just be gentle - " he began as she shoved his heart into his chest.

"Sorry! I just thought if I did it quickly it would be like pulling a band-aid - " he cut her off with one fierce look before kissing her just as fiercely.

Of all the pain and suffering he had endured in his life, which ultimately led him to her, this simple act of his beloved holding his heart and placing (shoving) it into his chest was nothing. It was worth it. To be whole again, to be near her again as himself and not as the puppet of some power crazed imp. "I told you Swan. I'm a survivor." He knew he would have to explain the events of the last few weeks but for the moment, it was enough for her to be with him.

Six weeks had come and gone since Belle had commanded her husband to leave Storybrooke. In that time life remained relatively simple - as simple as life in Storybrooke could be. Every morning Emma met Killian for hot chocolate and they would walk around town from the loft to the library. During the day, Killian would assist Belle with research on how to free those he had begrudgingly trapped in the magical hat. In the evenings he would join Emma and her family for dinner. Life really had taken a drastic turn from when he first arrived in town with Cora. As much as he treasured his alone time with Swan – the walks on the pier, the lunch dates, – he also basked in the feeling of being part of a family. Though Dave still had his reservations he kept his discomfort to himself these days. As for Snow, always believing the good in others (even a pirate), she was content so long as Emma was happy. Even Henry appeared to have taken a liking to Killian. Henry spent the weekends sailing with Killian, and even introduced Killian to some of the magical items of this realm, like comic books and the "magic Xbox."

 _And I know_

 _The scariest part is letting go_

' _Cause love is a ghost you can't control_

Though neither of them had outright said the words, Killian hoped that Emma knew how he felt about her - that he loved her. And he dreamed that Emma felt the same. He knew how stubborn and closed she could be, the walls she could put up. The two of them were the same in that respect. They both had experienced love and loss in their life. They both knew not to let people in, to get too close, or to trust anyone because ultimately they would be hurt in the end. It was the story of their life, and why they understood each other so well. Better to go in alone, then to be let down by people. They both had walked through their own personal hells, only to find each other in the end. It was this understanding that made them so similar, though in terms of the storybook they could not be more different – a pirate and a savior princess.

 _I promise you the truth can't hurt us now_

 _So let the words slip out of your mouth_

There were times, small moments, where he would let himself imagine that Emma was falling in love with him, however reluctant to the feelings she may be.

Then the Queens of Darkness had arrived, proclaiming a desire for a fresh start and not for evil deeds. But then it was discovered that these so called Queens were only in town because the Dark One was back with a new plan.

After a run-in between Killian and Ursula, Emma had asked about his past with the Sea Witch. For the first time since not being under the Crocodile's control, he lied and claimed he couldn't recall. He knew she didn't believe him and rightfully so. But then his Swan surprised him once again. Instead of choosing to remain angry with him, she chose to accept that he would tell her of his past on his own time, when he was ready.

"I'm going to choose to see the best in you." Emma declared, fully trusting in him to be the man he had worked so hard to be.

"And I with you." Killian silently wondered again, if Emma loved him as he loved her. She was choosing to see the best in him – the best in this reformed pirate – why? He could only hope it was because she loved him in return.

Then, leave it to the very same Ursula to cause Killian to almost relapse into his dark ways as he searched for answers to the Dark One's plans. After being tossed overboard by the eight tentacle Sea Witch, and being saved by none other than the mermaid Arial, he awoke back on the Jolly Roger only to be met with some slap-in-the-face advice from said mermaid.

"Maybe it's because villains go about getting their happy endings the wrong way," Arial challenged him.

However awful his head ached, he knew the mermaid was right. Setting about a new plan of action, he raced back to the cabin where the wooden man-child was being held captive. He arrived just in time, as Ursula had Snow wrapped around one of her tentacles, Emma unable to stop her upon fear that the Sea Witch would suffocate her mother to death.

Taking a page out of the hero book, Killian pleaded with Ursula that he could make right his past mistake with her. Wasting no time, he introduced Ursula to her estranged father, Poseidon. After reuniting daughter and father and rescuing the man-made-out-of-wood, Emma noticed Killian still appeared to be brooding.

"What's wrong? You gave Ursula everything she wanted."

He shook his head then, "I almost didn't love. You have no idea how easy it is to fall back into the darkness. With all this talk of authors and the book, we've never discussed one fact. I was a villain."

Expecting Emma to agree with him, he was surprised when she did the opposite. She held his gaze and smiled at him, "But you're not anymore."

"Neither is Regina, but she still lost her happy ending, and if we are to believe the rules of the book then it's only a matter of time until I lose mine."

Emma's gaze was laced with what appeared to be a mixture of hope and curiosity. He could see the wheels were turning in her thoughts. She stepped back ever so subtly, "Wait, if you're worried about losing your happy ending that means you've already found it. What is it?"

He shook his head ever so slightly. His Swan really did not understand. He wanted her to know but he was still fearful of her reaction if she knew the truth. In a whisper he answered her, "Don't you know Emma? It's you."

All Emma could do was stare back at him, her green eyes watering ever so slightly. Killian held his breath in anticipation. She didn't run, but instead leaned into him ever so simply and kissed him as a single tear rolled down her cheek. It was the closest thing he could say without actually using the words _I love you_. But in that moment, he knew with certainty that she understood the truth he had laid before her. He believed she now understood just how much he loved her, that she was his happy ending. And although she didn't reciprocate her feelings in words, but in action with a kiss, he desperately wanted to believe her kiss meant that she loved him too, and that he too was part of her happy ending.

 _I know that we're both afraid_

 _We both made the same mistakes_

 _An open heart is an open wound to you_

The very next day, after learning of the Dark One's plans for Emma to turn dark, Killian made his way to the Charmings to tell them of this new knowledge. When Emma entered the loft with Henry in toe, he explained himself again.

Emma's reaction couldn't have been more hopeful. "No one, not Rumpelstiltskin or some author gets to decide who I am."

She embraced him and he clung to her in return, wanting to share in her hope that this evil plan could be defeated, much as the other dastardly plans that had been brought before them. Her reassurance only reminded him of her motto, "No one saves me, but me." But oh how he wanted to save his Swan.

He knew what it was like to lose someone he loved, and he knew the pain that could overtake him. Emma was his saving grace from that pain, from that desire for revenge that would ultimately be unfulfilling. He knew in the depths of his soul that there would be no coming back from the loss of Emma. Emma was his hope, his future, and the one person who was keeping him on his path of goodness. In that moment he vowed to protect her from the darkness, even if that darkness would come from within her.

The days following her parent's confession of transferring Emma's potential for darkness inside an innocent babe, Emma began to distance herself from her parents. A turning point came when Cruella - devil truly was her name - threatened Henry's life. In a desperate attempt to save Henry, Emma brought Cruella to her death. It was the first time Emma took a life. It wasn't out of malice or hatred, but out of desperation to protect her son, the one person she loved most in the world. Killian knew what this would mean for Emma, and although she claimed to not feel the darkness setting in, he knew a fuse had been lit.

As Emma and Regina were about to embark on the search for Malificent's child, Emma's childhood friend, Killian attempted to once again implore Emma to resist the darkness and all its temptations.

"Why couldn't you resist it?" She asked genuinely.

He could only answer truthfully, "Because I had nothing to live for. But you have your parents, and Henry - "

"And you?" There was a hint of teasing in her voice, but also a newfound confidence in him – in them.

He smiled at her and nodded his head ever so slightly, as if he could implore her with his gaze alone. "Aye, and me. And I you."

They kissed and parted ways. As he watched the yellow vessel drive off, he couldn't help but feel panic in his stomach. He loved his Swan, but he recognized the anger brooding behind her eyes. Anger at her parents and the lies they told, anger for what happened to her childhood friend, anger for her own messed up childhood. He pleaded with every entity he could think of that his Swan would come back to him and resist the darkness.

 _And in the wind of a heavy choice_

 _Love has a quiet voice_

 _Still your mind, now I'm yours to choose_

Upon Emma and Regina's return to Storybrooke, Killian along with Henry and the Charmings raced to greet her. After eagerly embracing her lad, Emma turned her attention to him. They embraced for several moments, reveling in each other, all the while Killian kept thanking the gods that she was alive and appeared to be okay. But then, as they parted and Snow attempted to embrace her daughter, Emma backed away quickly. Killian glanced at the hurt in Snow and Dave's faces; Emma had not forgiven them. He then made it his new mission to reunite Emma with her parents and perhaps stave off any remaining threats to her succumbing to her own darkness.

He took her to the docks later that day. They sat on the pier, with nothing but the horizon in view. "Emma," he began, "I can tell that your heart is uneasy and it's my job – well I hope it's my job - to protect your heart. Even when no one is physically trying to steal it."

She told him not to worry, that she wasn't going to confront Gold about his plan, or let him turn her heart dark. Killian glanced down briefly before turning his gaze back to Emma, "I was talking about your parents."

She stopped him then, hadn't they already talked about this? Not to be dissuaded by her interruption, he continued to implore her to reconcile with her parents. He knew that it was not so cut and dry being all good or all evil. As much as his plea was for Emma to forgive her parents, there was also another part - a selfish part - that hoped he could be forgiven for his past misdeeds.

Emma turned to face him, "I'd like them more if I'd known they turned themselves around." She smiled at him and continued, "I like when people find their good hearts along the way."

His head dropped, but a small smile and blush crept over his face before he became serious once more. He hoped that he was getting through to her, and in truth he believed he had. After several moments of silence, and a few more sips of rum on Emma's part, she turned back to face him. "Why do you care so much about me and my parents?" she asked, a tone of wonderment in her words.

"They're your family Swan. They love you and you love them, despite their mistakes and their flaws. You once told me you gave up Henry to give him his best chance, wasn't that what your parent's intentions were as well? I'm not saying its right what they did – placing your potential for darkness into a babe - but had they known the consequences of their actions, knowing your parents they wouldn't have gone through with it."

Emma looked down at her hands that were wrapped around the flask of rum. "You really are a pirate with a code aren't you?"

His eyes softened, "I just want to remind you of what you already know Swan, of what you once taught me. Home is the place where when you leave, you just miss it, and home includes family."

A tear cascaded down her face. She shook her head and rose to her feet, him following suit. "Come on," she said, "Lets go find my parents."

Walking hand in hand, Killian was relieved at Emma's change of heart. To be honest, he was also relieved that she hadn't corrected him when he said it was his job to protect her heart. He hoped that meant she was finally willing to let him fully into her heart, and not just as someone she felt an obligation to protect, but as someone she would allow to protect her in return. He wanted to be a part of her family. He wanted to be her home, as she had become his home.

Once her parents came into view, they both broke into a run at the realization that Snow was laid out on the grown, with Dave hovering over her head. Emma immediately used her magic to heal her mom and took the opportunity to tell her parents that she had forgiven them. Dave looked over at Killian, a smile of gratitude across the prince's face because he knew the pirate was responsible for bringing Emma back to them.

The happiness was short lived however, as the threat of the Author and Dark One's plan loomed dangerously over the town. It was now a race against time to find Henry's storybook and save the town. At the loft, Killian and the Charmings searched franticly for the book before a flash of light and a sound similar to thunder rang out and things went black…

* * *

Killian was on the deck of Blackbeard's ship, scrubbing the floor of the Jolly Roger, when he heard the voice of a boy yell "Ahoy." After cautioning the boy about the dangers of stepping onboard without an invitation from the Captain, the boy exclaimed his name was Henry, and that he needed assistance rescuing his mother from the Bottomless Sea.

Killian felt for the boy, but he knew there was nothing he could do for him. He could be of no help as he was a mere deckhand, cowardly, and one handed. But the boy didn't understand, insisting that Killian was the rightful captain of the Jolly Roger. When Blackbeard came aboard and overheard the boy's pleas, Killian balked at Blackbeard's challenge of a duel.

"What are you doing? Stand up to him!" The boy implored.

"I'm afraid you don't know me very well, I can't help you." Killian insisted, going back to scrubbing the deck of the ship's floor. The next thing he heard was the sound of a buoy rope being cut and the thud of something large falling onto the deck. He turned just in time to see the boy had effectively knocked the frightful Blackbeard square on his back.

"What the bloody hell are you doing?" Killian's voice was full of fear and wonderment at the boy's courage.

"Getting _your_ ship back. Come on, let's dump Blackbeard and go." The boy answered determinedly.

"What you think it's that easy? I can't sail the Jolly Roger alone!" Killian fussed.

"But I can help."

"How do you know how to sail a ship?"

The boy, smiling and standing firm replied, "I had a great teacher - _you_."

Something inside Killian stirred, something a kin to a flicker of familiarity. Did he know this boy? Impossible, he was absolutely sure he would have remembered the boy's bravado and ingenuity – something he himself lacked. But it was this sense of familiarity that gave Killian an ounce of courage to trust the lad and help him rescue his mother.

As the pair approached the guarded tower, they noticed a black knight standing guard. The boy, Henry, was insistent and despite Killian's apprehension, they set about putting the boy's plan in motion – something about a Wookiee prisoner gag.

Killian was a fit of nervous energy as he waited for the boy to return with his mother. Finally, after what felt like hours, he heard two pairs of footsteps running down the stairs and the next thing he knew, a tangle of golden hair ran into him.

He held the golden lass as she stumbled backwards. Something about the way she was gazing at him - soft emerald eyes that appeared to brighten at the site of him - entranced him and rooted him to the spot. Killian could hardly hear Henry's introductions, he was so transfixed at what appeared to be a mixture of recognition and longing in the woman's eyes, and also at the tugging feeling deep within him that screamed he should know this woman.

The impossible thought shook him out of his stance, "Yeah, um, pleasure."

He made to shake the woman's hand. The cordial gesture caused the look on her beautiful face to change instantly. She shook his hand in return, but her face was now the picture of confusion. It lasted only a second before determination colored her features and the golden lass took off down the hall, mentioning something about having a wedding to stop.

Killian followed the woman and Henry down the hall, but he couldn't shake the bewildering confusion he felt. Had he met this woman before? The same pull of familiarity rang deep within him, just as it had when Henry first came aboard the Jolly Roger claiming to have known him.

Once they made it to port – after fighting off a dragon and enjoying a shared toast over goats milk – the woman, Emma, assisted Killian in teaching him how to work with a sword. Her messy hair was pulled back and out of her face, and her tattered dress had been replaced for a vest and britches she had found in some old trunks below deck of the Jolly.

Killian couldn't take his eyes off her as she told him her story. Although he just met Emma, he believed her tale of them - of him - being in some "alternate reality." He wanted to believe her, but more so he desperately wished for her story to be true.

This other him she spoke of sounded strong, courageous, everything opposite of his cowardly, frightened self. "Are you telling me, in this other reality you speak of, that _I_ am such an expert with this weapon?"

She smiled back at him encouragingly, "You're a regular Jack Sparrow." He didn't know who this Jack Sparrow was, but from her tone he gathered that was a good thing.

Emma came to stand behind him and helped guide his actions with the sword. Killian was full of nerves, but excited nerves. Her touch shot fire through his body. With each swipe of the sword up, down, and sideways through the air, he couldn't believe he was learning how to wield a sword from this blonde headed beauty. She spoke to him as if she had complete confidence in him and his master skill of the sword. Killian had always wished to be confident and brave, just as his brother Liam had been, but not until this moment, with Emma beaming at him with approval and happy sentiment, had he truly believed he could one day be that confident and brave man.

"Tell me more about this alternate reality you wish to return to. Us, for example," he swallowed, nervous but wanting to know more of this fascinating tale she had spoken of, "I sense we were close? Maybe?"

"Very."

 _And I know_

 _The scariest part is letting go_

 _Let my love be the light that guides you home_

Before Killian could truly bask in the revelation, they were stopped by the voices of the Queen and her black knights. Without thinking, Killian attempted to hold his sword steady in defense, but faster than he could react it was knocked out of his hand by a black knight. Emma came to his defense, pushing the black knight back while Killian staggered a bit before pulling himself up.

Disoriented with nerves and fear, Killian was unsure of what to do. He listened as Emma pleaded with the Queen to understand her. He picked up his fallen sword and readied himself to fend off another attack, sword and hook in a defensive position. Although it had only been a few short hours, and despite there being no evidence that Emma's story was true apart from the nagging feeling of familiarity in the pit of his stomach, Killian wanted to be the brave man that Emma spoke so highly of.

He's pulled from his thoughts as one of the knight's spotted Henry a few yards away.

"My, my, I am going to enjoy watching him die in front of his mother." The Queen said sadistically, as if death between loved ones is such a small matter.

Killian turned to face Emma, telling her to save Henry. It is completely out of his character, but he's willing to risk it all for her, for them, for the blind faith he has in her story.

"Killian you can't beat them" she replied fearfully.

"If I can help return things to how they were meant to be, then what happens to me won't matter, will it?" He says determinedly, mustering all the courage and confidence he can find within himself. He gestures his head in the direction of Henry, "Now go, save your boy."

Emma, after briefly hesitating, acquiesces to his plea and runs toward Henry.

"Is she worth your life pirate?"

"I'm willing to find out." Killian replied, his sword drawn but shaking in his hand.

The dual commenced. After initially taking up a defensive stance, Killian began to move seamlessly, taking an offensive position. With every swipe of his sword, with every move of his feet, he began to feel as if his body had known how to duel since forever. When their swords locked, Killian used his elbow to punch the knight in the face, effectively knocking the knight to the ground.

The Queen approached then, but Killian had confidence in his newly acquired skill. Pointing his sword at the Queen, "What do you say your Majesty, shall I make quick work of you –"

A sharp pain flared up his back. Somewhere in the distance he thinks he hears Emma scream. The knight continued to dig the dagger deeper into his spine. The pain is excruciating, but Killian's eyes find Emma's and the terror within her emerald eyes tells him it was worth it.

He believes her story is true. He believes they will find a way back to the other reality. As the cold and darkness begin to penetrate, and as his vision began to blur and fade, the last thing he saw was a tearful Emma.

* * *

There is a loud crackling sound and Killian awakes on the kitchen floor of the loft. A searing headache ensues the moment he pushes himself up off the floor. He feels dizzy as a flash of memories race through his mind – he was a deckhand on the Jolly Roger, Henry came to ask for help, together they sailed to rescue Emma from a tower, Emma taught him to sword fight, Dave was a black knight and Snow was the Evil Queen, Dave stabbed him, Emma was crying as he lay dying.

Killian stumbled at the rush of memories but regained his balance after grabbing hold of the kitchen counter for support. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he immediately sees Snow and Dave lying on the floor of the loft by the table. They have not yet awoken from that bloody alternate reality.

Alternate reality. The Author and the bloody Crocodile. Henry and Emma in danger of the warped universe created by the dastardly duo.

Without further hesitation, Killian runs up the stairs to the second floor in search of Henry, but the boy isn't there. He is unsure if the plan to find the key and missing page of the book is still in motion, as he just awoke from what must have been the demise of the Author's scheme. Confused, Killian continues looking for the missing page, wondering where Henry may be. He wants to abandon the search for the page and seek the boy out but he knows Henry, like his mother, is as resourceful as ever. Especially if his memories of Henry's bravery in the alternate universe are any indication – the lad bloody well knocked out Blackbeard without blinking an eye. Killian smiles to himself as he thinks of all the ways in which Henry is so similar to his Swan.

 _And I know_

 _The scariest part is letting go_

' _Cause love is a ghost you can't control_

Killian, still on the second floor of the loft, hears Snow and Dave slowly awaken. Before he can proceed down the steps, he hears the door burst open and Emma frantically ask, "Where is he? Where's Hook?"

He smiles to himself. Everything in Emma's tone indicates her feelings for him. He dare not doubt it now, all of their interactions in the alternate reality, everything in the past year of the true reality - she must love him as dearly as he loves her.

He hears her whisper a painful "no" at not finding him immediately, and he can't deny her anymore, "Yeah sorry about the mess. I really needed to find that book and I'm usually much tidier."

From the second floor he sees a jubilant smile spread wildly across her face. She races up the stairs and embraces him in a fearsome hug that pulls them both down on top of her bed. They tumble down laughing in ecstatic joy that the other is safe and alive. As she pulls herself up, still hovering over him with their hands entwined he reminds her, "How may times do I have to tell you love? I'm a survivor." Her smile falters, her face turning serious once more. "What is it?" He asks concerned.

Emma pulls them both up into a sitting position atop the bed, "When I… watched you die… I was afraid I'd never get the chance to tell you something."

Killian knows exactly what his Swan wishes to say to him but still he asks, "Tell me what?"

"That I - " he gives her his signature smirk and arched brow in encouragement for her to continue.

But she doesn't. "That I want to thank you. For sacrificing yourself."

His face falls ever so slightly, but he understands his Swan. He knows why she hesitates to admit her true feelings in words, so Killian lets it be and simply tells her in return, "Of course love. All in a day's work for a hero."

Emma pulls him forward once more, their faces only centimeters apart. They don't need to kiss - just the mere presence of each other, arms wrapped around each other, foreheads lightly pressed against one another, so close they can feel each other's breath on their cheeks - is all they need in the moment. They have defeated the Author and the Dark One. Most of all, they are together.

They all make their way over to Granny's to celebrate yet another victory. That is until Belle comes bursting in, a look of fear across her face. The Crocodile is dying and the Darkness is about to be set free, un-tethered.

Once at Gold's shop, the Apprentice tries to pull the Darkness from Gold. It appears to work but within moments, the darkness escapes and attempts to engulf the Apprentice. Emma, quick witted as ever, uses her light magic to pull the Darkness away from the Apprentice. Thwarted by Emma's light magic, the Darkness escapes the shop in search of a new source to bind itself to.

At that, Emma, her parents, and Killian race out of the shop in search of the Darkness in hopes of stopping it before it tethers itself to another.

 _I promise you the truth can't hurt us now_

 _So let the words slip out of your mouth_

At first they can't locate it, believing it disappeared into the night. Emma's not so sure though. Regina and Robin, making their way over from their walk, see the look on everyone's faces and ask to be filled in.

"What! Where the hell is it?" Regina asks anxiously.

Emma, looking about, tells them the Darkness hasn't gone anywhere and is instead surrounding them all. Not even a mere second later does the Darkness encircle Regina, trying to tether itself to her. Robin attempts to pull Regina from the Dark vortex, but he's pushed back.

"That's not going to work on this thing! We have to tether it to a person to contain it!" Emma shouts, her voice full of fear and apprehension.

Killian looks at Emma, and he knows what she is thinking. Before he can stop her, he sees Emma run towards the Dark vortex in an attempt to save Regina. Killian's fear is confirmed – his Swan is going to sacrifice herself to save everyone.

Just as Emma is about to raise the dagger, she looks back at her parents and Killian. Her eyes are moist with tears, her voice trembling as she tells Dave and Snow to be heroes in their attempt to save her from the darkness she is about to embrace.

Killian makes a run to her then. No, he can't let her do this, "Emma! Emma please!" He shakes his head franticly, beseeching her with his eyes, "No. Don't do this." He implores her with everything in his being. He moves his hand from her shoulder, up to her neck, and begins to softly caress her face.

She gazes at him, her green eyes clouded with regret and sadness, but laced with a fierce determination as she tells him, "I love you."

For a brief moment their foreheads touch and they take in each other's breath while he brushes her cheek with his thumb. But then she is pushing him away with all the resolve she has.

She turns from him and proceeds to thrust the dagger up in the air, calling the Darkness to take her just as he screams out a mournful, "No!"

He can hear her screams of pain as the Darkness engulfs her. Through the flashes of blue electric light, he can see Emma's face begin to change. The look in her eyes, once soft and full of light, become grey and desolate, even as she keeps her gaze upon him. He knows all the goodness, all the light, is being snuffed out of his Swan.

The Dark vortex finally consumes his Swan to the point where she is no longer visible. The vortex begins closing in on itself, ascending into the night sky. Then in a flash of bright light the vortex is gone.

There is a clatter of metal upon cement as the dagger falls from where the vortex evaporated in the sky. Killian, lost for words and staring at where Emma once stood, knows what that damned dagger will have etched across it. He knows it will read the name of his love…Emma Swan.

Through all their shared adventures, all the hope lost and found along the way, his Swan finally opened her heart to him and shared her true feelings. She loves him. But now his Swan is gone. This isn't how it was supposed to be. He knew Emma loved him, but he would give his life to save her from this fate, even if it meant never hearing her utter those beautiful words to him.

And even if she never spoke the words, even if she didn't love him as he loves her, he would do and will do whatever it takes to find her, to win her back, to save her from the cursed Darkness that has consumed his love…his Emma Swan.

* * *

 **A/N:** Hope you enjoyed going down memory lane of our favorite Pirate and Savior Princess. Constructive feedback and reviews encouraged and appreciated!


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